Can I Haz Kitten?

For When Devon and I Move Out And Get Kittens (and or cat)

http://www.petco.com/product/112378/PETCO-Faux-Fleece-Classic-Cat-Tree.aspx

An adorable cat tree :)


http://www.petco.com/product/109118/PETCO-Puffy-Round-Bed-in-Cream.aspx

Adorable Cat Bed! :)

http://www.petco.com/product/112616/PETCO-Premium-Ceramic-Cat-Fountain.aspx?CoreCat=firstinresult_catfountainsAugPRESS

Water fountain...no stale water for my babies :)

AND LOTS AND LOTS OF TOYS!!!!!!
 I am so excited for this part of my life :)))))))))) kitties!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

$$41,680

That is how much stands between Grand Valley State University and me.

Forty One Thousand Six Hundred and Eighty Dollars...

Working at Target for Two Years in the mean time.
Making $7.40 working 15-20 hours a week.
     = $11,544-$15,392

If I save every single penny I make
I will only be $26,288 away from my dream school.

I'm pretty sure I will be in Lansing for a long long time. :(
I feel like my life is not what I wanted it to be...all because I was too afraid to start planning and letting go earlier.

$$41,680 that would give me happiness and relief

Trust.

Some times trusting people is the hardest thing in the world.
and, thus, I suck at it.

Man vs. Machine

I'm supposed to be priceless.
Important.
The thought of losing me should over take one of the newest patch of a game.
I should matter, I should be the center of it.
You can only put love and work into something for so long before the absence of the other person breaks you.
I hope he thinks I'm worth everything and that he realizes this soon.
I miss that look in his eyes, the one that screams of my beauty.
I miss the little things that made us...us.

The Heart Dims

I don't do well with distance.

Distance kills me.

I fixate.

I regress.

I falter.

Distance is not my friend.

But God is he worth it. 

Sometimes...

Sometimes you have to do for loved ones what they cannot do for themselves.
Even if you have to lie to get them happy, to keep them happy.
Life isn't about just you and how you want things to happen.
This conversation tears me up and makes me feel sick.
I would lie and have my heart broken a million more times then tell you what I really think and lose you.
Because to me you will always come first, forever.

Today= First Blog in a long long time

More often then not lately I feel...out of place. 

and I don't know how long it will last. 

I just want to feel like I am fully enough for someone. 

Not just certain bits of me.  

It's tearing me down.